Longest Post Ever...As Emotions Run High

So, the tears keep coming….I can’t seem to shut them off these days. In the past weeks, when I would think of leaving (my friends here, my work, and my house), I would just shove those thoughts to the back of my mind and think “I’ll deal with that when the day comes.” But, as the day nears (only about 4 weeks left), I can’t seem to forget about it anymore. I cry at the drop of a hat.

I get sad as we pack things up…I love my house and have so many wonderful memories here…this is the first house RJ and I owned (that was a very exciting and proud time in our lives), it’s where we had our first child, and we’ve put a lot of time and work into making this place our own. It seems really weird that someone else is going to come in here and make it theirs.

I get sad as I walk down the halls at school and think I won’t be back there next year, as I pack up my stuff to take with me, and as I listen to everyone talk about the events of next year. It is strange that I won’t be a part of all of that. Sometimes I join in before I remember it doesn’t pertain to me.

I get REALLY sad when I think about leaving my friends (they’re really my second family) that I’ve made here. I have been so blessed to work with people that have become more than friends. They have seen me through all the major phases of my adult life. When I moved here and started working at my school, I was not even engaged. So, some of these friends have seen me get engaged, married, and have my first child. They have been by my side through trials and celebrations and have truly shaped me in many ways. They are like mothers at times, sisters at others, and always the best of friends.

I get THE MOST sad, though, when Aidan tells me he wants to go home and we are sitting here in our house when he says it. I know what he means…he wants to go where daddy is. I try to explain that daddy is in Austin and we will all be there together soon, but that is a lot for a 2.5 year old to understand. Mostly, I think, “me, too, buddy…I want to go home.” My home is with my family and my hubby is not here…so this really is no longer my home. I am ready for us to all be under the same roof again. I am ready to be home…even though I haven’t seen it myself (RJ had to pick it himself…but that’s another story), one thing is for certain…it will be perfect because we will be together.

And so, I come full circle…I am sad as the day nears, but it also makes me happy. I cannot imagine saying goodbye to the people here, but I cannot wait to start our new life there. I am scared for all of the changes, but I feel very blessed to be given this opportunity.