First Days

I have had about 30 first days of school so far.  As a teacher, they just never stop coming! : )  Every year, never fails, there are the first day jitters...am I going to like my students, are they going to like me, am I going to have any crazy parents, am I going to have 35 kids in one class, etc, etc.  But, as I sit here on the eve of yet another first school day, I am not thinking about any of those things...I can only think about the first time I will drop my baby off at Kindergarten!  He is super excited and cannot wait to see what school is all about.  I am super excited for him, but welling up with tears as I write this.  I cannot believe this day is already here...

I am scared to let him go, but I am comforted by the fact that his teacher seems so sweet and nurturing.

I am nervous for him as he encounters so many unknowns, but I am thankful that he is more excited than he is scared.

I am sad that it's already time for him start this journey, but I am excited to see where this year takes him.

Aidan, tomorrow is the first of many exciting times in your educational career.  I know it's going to be a great year.  I pray that your love of  learning will continue to grow with you and that you will look back on these years with fond memories.  I love you so much and can't wait to see what lies ahead!

Pride

Aidan got his green belt today.  There were a few moments this morning where I wasn't sure if it was going to happen...

He has been ready to test for his green belt for a while now.  His teacher tells us all the time how great he is doing and he has no worries about him testing.  Aidan, on the other hand, was not so sure.  During each belt test, the student has to break a board with a punch or a kick. During his last test, this gave him some difficulty...he had to kick the board 3 times before it broke.  Ever since that experience, he has been afraid to break the boards.  This fear grew into an anxiety that I was afraid would become crippling to his Tae Kwon Do.  If he doesn't break the boards, he cannot advance.  Board breaking is one minor part of the test...the students have to perform numerous kicks and punches across the floor, as well as demonstrate the required form for that belt...the form has ranged from 8 to 18 counts long so far and continues to get more difficult as you progress through the belts.  The memorization is usually the hardest part...especially for the younger students.  Not for Aidan, though...his form is so solid he blows the older kids out of the water!  His teacher often uses him to demonstrate to the class as to what the form should look like...he is flawless on this part!

Anyway, when he realized that today was going to be test day, he started crying...the fear was taking over.
We talked him in to going and watching for a bit and then seeing if he wanted to do it.  Once we got there, he did not want to get out on the mat. We did not force him...we told him it was totally up to him.  Of course we wanted him to...I knew that if he didn't do it today, his anxiety level would just continue to grow.  At one point, I honestly thought we were going home without him even trying...but something made him get up and join the other kids.  They had already started to warm up and he went out and joined in.  He was still super scared and cried on and off through the whole thing, but he never got up and ran off.

Each student went through their form one by one.  I could see his anxiety level building as he knew it was closer and closer to his turn.  But, once they got to him, he got up and killed the form portion...it was perfect!

He also did a great job on the kicks and punches they asked him to do.

Then it was time for the boards...when he saw the teachers bring them out, he started to cry again.  But, he staid out there and, when it was his turn, he split the board into 3 pieces!  Many of the other parents were saying they have never seen anyone kick the middle out of the board!

Practice Kick

The Real Deal

Master Kim giving Aidan the 3 pieces.

I have never been more proud of my Aidan than I am today.  He has done numerous things that have made me proud in his short life, but today was different.  Today was the first time he pushed through an overwhelming (in his eyes) fear and crushed the goal he was reaching for!  We all knew he could do it...he just needed to believe that he could.  I hope this helps in his believing in himself!

Aidan, we are so proud of you...not for the way you did your form or the fact that you broke the board...but for the fact that you were brave.  You got out there and did something you were afraid to do...you stared your fear in the face and conquered it!  You have filled me with pride today, and I hope you know how strong you are!!!

PS...I fell in love with my husband a little more today as I listened to him talking with Aidan before and after the test.  Before the test, he was encouraging him, giving him the option to do it or not, and reassuring him that we would love him the same whether he chose to or not.  Afterwards he was explaining to him that it's ok to be afraid and to cry.  Then he told him that not being afraid of anything is stupid.  But being afraid and trying it anyway is bravery...love that!

PPS...This was all a learning experience for me, too.  In the beginning, I wanted to scoop Aidan off that floor and "save" him from the fear and potential embarrassment.  I'm so glad I didn't...I would have robbed him from this accomplishment and his proudest moment to date!